Did Paul's thorn hurt as bad as my tooth?

Is the Marriage/Parenting weekend over? Can we do it again? I missed it !!!!
The whole weekend was a blur to me. I can't remember what I said or what I did.
What started out as a great weekend turned into a diaster. I was so pumped all week for this conference. I was feeling a little puny Friday night. That's when it all started. It just got worse and worse each ticking moment through the weekend. I've had this one tooth that has been bothering me for several months now. What started out as a small tropical storm in my mouth turned into Hurricane Katrina raging throughout my whole body. Turned out, it wasn't the tooth that has been bothering me, it was the one next to it.
Friday night I was just a little sick from it. It was just a little tender, but I've gone through that before. I always hate it, before a gig, if I'm not feeling 100 percent, it just sucks. I want to feel on top of the world, because I am doing something that I love to do so much, and, if I feel my best, I will strive harder to play my best.
By Saturday morning, the hurricane was devastating, and still growing. Somehow or another, I made it to First Assembly to play that morning. By the way, if I said or did anything to someone that day that offended them, please forgive me. Not only was I high as a kite from the painkillers I was taking, but I was disillusioned from the pain going through my mouth.
By this time, I was thinking that it might not be a tooth, maybe something else. Some kind of infection in my gum, maybe a tumor in my mouth, heck, anything. I didn't know what it was. Somehow or another, I made it through the morning worship, went to Fred's to get my antibiotics and then home to get some sleep, or something...RELIEF....Only it never came. I stopped at "Dad's Place", because I knew that it would take Fred's a little while to fill the order. By the way, Jim, was I dancing on the tables or anything? I was in never land. I do remember talking to you and Dean, but can't remember the conversations. Did I let out any national confidential secrets? If I did, I might have to kill you.......
Anyhow, this antibiotic that was called in for me was from my Doctor, not my dentist. I couldn't get a hold of him all weekend. So, needless to say, the antibiotic, wasn't strong enough. But I wouldn't know that until later.
I got home, took an antibiotic with another pain killer, and tried to get some rest. Of course, I couldn't, I was in too much pain. Before I went back to First Assembly for our final set, I took yet another pain killer. Folks when you take pain killers, and it still doesn't get rid of the pain, not only do you hurt, but you also feel numb throughout your whole body. I was in terrible pain, but I didn't care. My mouth was still hurting, but someone could have hit me in the stomach as hard as they could, and I probably would have never felt it.
I finally made it through all of the sets, and went back home. That's when the hurricane grew to it's largest and most powerful force. At one point, I thought that I saw a white light at the end of a tunnel. I think I was ready to go home. I really didn't think that I was going to make it. I was pondering on who would be my pallbearers. What would my Obit look like. Would it be another boring obituary, or would it be a great story of a man's life. Would anyone sing at my funeral, and who would it be. Will Tammie re-marry.............and then I snapped out of that quick...... Sorry Tammie, you have to still put up with me......
I was even telling Tammie to call the elders and deacons, and have them come over and anoint me. The emergency room came up in our conversation many times. But we knew from past experiences from dealing with the emergency room, it was useless.
Sunday, the storm didn't let up one bit. The day never happened in my book. I can't remember any event that happened at all. I know that Tammie finally got a hold of Dr. Denson around 8:00 pm. Just a little too late for that day for him to do anything. He said to be at his office first thing in the morning.
First thing I said when I walked into his office Monday morning was, "Pull it!!!!!"
He took an X-ray, and come to find out, it wasn't the tooth that I thought it was. It was the tooth right next to it. This tooth never had anything wrong with it before. Never a filling or anything.
He couldn't give me any anthesia because of the infection, so he drilled in it raw.
For those ladies out there that has had natural child birth before, I believe I just experienced it.
Once he finally drilled to the bottom of the tooth to where the infection was, it started draining immediately. I felt instant relief.
So here I am, still alive to tell the story.......When the infection completely is drained, then I go back to get it filled. He felt like it would be today....But my mouth is still a little puffy with infection. SO.... I guess it will be tomorrow. It still hurts a little, but not like it did.....I actually know what is going on around me.......
There's a lesson in this somewhere....... I don't know if Paul's thorn in his side hurt as bad as my tooth did this weekend, but I hope that my teeth are not my thorns in my side for the future. I don't think I can handle a hurricane Rita following this.

At What Point Do You Let Go?

This is going to sound sissy probably being written by a man, but I don't care. My son will probably be embarrassed, but again, I don't care.
I just read a post by Mandy that has me thinking about my own children. Her daughter just started kindergarten, and she was torn up about it.
I remember when Nick started kindergarten as if were yesterday. The first mistake Tammie and I made that day, was to let me take him to school. Keep in mind that my kids had and will probably always have me wrapped around their fingers. I took him into the school building and found a teacher to leave him with. I still remember the teacher that took him from me that day, Alice Forrest. I don't know if she remembers it, but I sure do. As she desperately tried to take Nick from me, He was screaming in terror, like if we were sending him away forever. My heart was breaking, but I was holding on tight to a sense of control of my emotions. He had a death grip on my leg as if I was going to have it amputated that day, and he was never going to see it ever again. After what seemed to be hours of horror, Alice and I finally persuaded him to finally stay at the school and let me go.
I got all the way to my car with knots all in my stomach, and decided to turn around and look at the entrance where I took him in......Mistake...... there stood Alice and Nick at the door. I guess Alice told him that she was going to let him wave goodbye to me.
When we made eye contact.....I cried, he cried.....and it seemed like the whole world was in tears...Anyhow....Nick went back home with me and he missed his first day of school. Tammie had to take him to school the next day, otherwise he would have wound up being a drop out from day one. Throughout the course of the school years to follow, Tammie and I noticed a trend. It seemed that everytime that I was in charge of taking Nick to school, there were way too many instances where I would have him skip school just to spend the day with me.

Now, as I fast forward to the present time. The school year just started yesterday, and I find myself still, not wanting to let go. Here he is....16... A junior in High School.......He almost looks like a grown man........I watched him this morning as he was waiting on his bus...He had no idea that I was watching him from the kitchen window....and I felt like crying when he got on his bus....The whole while wondering if my little boy was going to be OK that day.....

Discipline Equals Blessings

I don't know how many of you might know this, but I lost my job this week. The company that I was working for did some cut backs, and I was one of them.

How do I feel ?????

A question that I have probably lied to several people about upon my answers.
"I'll be OK".....

Will I ?????

Full of all kinds of emotions. Two of them stick out like sore thumbs.
1. Anger - not only with the company that I worked for, but with God... Wondering, Why Lord would you put my family in yet another stressful situation. Why would you allow this to happen?
All God has to do is blink and eye and I would have the easiest and funniest job in the world making more money than I could ever dream of. So why would you take this one job away from me and leave me with so many insecurities?
2. Worry - tops all emotions. I know, I know... Lay your worries on God, but I still can't help myself by thinking.....
Where am I going to get the money to feed my family, and pay my bills.
Where am I going to get the money to pay for health insurance, in case one of my family members gets sick or hurt.
Should my wife and son suffer with me?
This is effecting my teenage son. He has enough peer pressure in his own life to have this extra added weight on him. I feel so bad for him, and worry so much. He should be enjoying life like a kid should be.

Now, with all of this in mind, the answers lie in the bible. Upon already knowing this, I still wasn't seeking the answers the way I should've been doing. I guess I wanted to drown myself in my sorrows, and make things even worse. Worse on me, my wife, my son, and even whoever comes in contact with me.

Before I do my morning devotions, I always pray to God to give me wisdom and knowledge before reading His word. I've taken a vacation from His word since I've lost my job. The last time I read His word was on Tuesday morning, the day I lost my job. I am in the middle of the book "Hebrews". God knew that I was going to take a break from His word, and knew the exact moment when I would return to my studies. He had this lesson prepared for me upon returning. I left off just completing Hebrews 11, this morning I started in Hebrew 12.
To sum up Hebrews 11, is one word, "Faith" which is one thing that I have been lacking. To sum up Hebrews 12 in one word, "discipline". Discipline from God.
Now most of us think about discipline being a bad thing, and it is, to be punished, means that you haven't been doing things right, so you are being corrected for it, rebuked for your disobedience. Growing up as a child, it was never a good thing to get punished by my parents when I was in trouble. It always meant that I was going to suffer pain for my disobedience.
Now, as a parent myself, I have found myself on the punishing end when one of my children are disobedient. When I punish them, I hurt more than they do. I hate seeing one of my children hurting. I cry for them, because I love them so much.
Hebrews 12 taught me something that I already knew this morning. Verse 1-4 reminds me, that no matter what I go through, no matter what punishment I endure for my sins, it will never equal the pain that Jesus went through for my sins. Moving on to the second part of verse 5, I am reminded that I shouldn't lose heart when the Lord rebukes me because He disciplines those He loves. and Punishes everyone He accepts as a son.

Hebrew 12:4-13
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."[a]
7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet,"[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Verse 11 is my encouragement. That when I endure this hardship, that it will produce a harvest of righteousness and peace for me. I feel so good inside right now, that I know God loves me as a son, enough to punish me for good.

My lesson is, follow chapter 11 on "faith"
God has a great plan for me and my family, greater than I could ever imagine if I can just let faith be my upmost priority. and remind myself that these hardships, if we endure them, will be a blessing in the end.
Thank you Lord for your discipline. Amen.

Read the first Part first

Before you read "Jesus, Take The Wheel (Part 2)",
Please read the first part first.
Thanks

Jesus, Take The Wheel (Part 2)

It was never determined what happened with the two ladies driving westbound who drove right in front of the semi-truck, inches away from two different head on collisions. And One of the head on collisions being us. The driver couldn't remember what had happen. We all feel like she fell asleep. Whatever the case was, we all know that God was active in all of ours lives that day. In fact, God was active the whole weekend. The weekend started out different for us than normal anyhow. Tammie and I had a new ministy that we attended for the first meeting on Friday night. It was a prayer ministry that our church just started. We almost didn't go knowing that we were going to be getting up early in the morning on Saturday to head to Kansas. But we went anyhow, and had a blessing. Only three people attended the first meeting. Tammie, myself and Diana Harton. Being kind of down about some issues in my life for the past couple of weeks, I found this fellowship this night was very encouraging and uplifting. I left there feeling pretty good about issues and felt genuinely uplifted. The ride up to Kansas was very pleasant. Tammie and I spent quality time together that we hadn't had for a while.
However, by the time I woke up on Sunday morning, I was already dreading the ride back, and the return back to work, knowing ahead of time, that I would be tired. You know worrying makes you even more tired than you already are. We really didn't have the money to be going on a trip like this, so that was another "worry" on my shoulders. "Will we have enough money to get back home?" was ours thoughts all weekend long.
Tammie and I are terrible financial planners. We live from paycheck to paycheck, never saving for a rainy day. In fact, According to what I bring home in a month, actually, we should be in the hole more and more each month. But somehow, God makes it work for us. God still blesses us even though, when we get some extra money for some reason, instead of saving for a rainy day, we splurge and squander it away, until it is gone. Elders have always told us that the happiest days of their lives were early in their marriage when they didn't have anything but love for each other. Well Tammie and I have been married for 23 years still relying on the love for each other to get us by. When will the early years be gone, because I feel like I've been married to her forever............Don't take that the wrong way, honey, I would never trade you for anything.........

Time to return home, When we left Sunday evening at 4:30 pm, we had a Walmart card with enough $ on it to fill up our van one more time, and $15 in our pocket. We had already written a check that day in hopes that it wouldn't clear the bank until after I get paid, because according to our records we had a negative amount in the bank. We had a few snacks and some drinks, and that was it for us. No credit card, no savings account, this was it. With a 10 hour trip ahead of us we knew that we better plan our return wisely. We never dreamed that "the wreck" was in the making.
The wreck took up about 2-3 hours of our precious time. After the wreck, we were on pins and needles, worn out and irritable. We were arguing with each other about every little thing. We made a wrong turn in one town, then got lost in another town after we ate and filled our van up with gasoline. It was going on 9:30 pm, and still in Kansas. I was thinking now that we might not get home until the sun starts rising the next morning. Thinking, how in the world are we going to be able to do this. I was too tired to drive and Tammie can't see very well at night, but was giving it a valid attempt. As I was thinking to myself, "God, I wish I had enough money to stay overnight in a hotel" another miracle happened.
My cell phone rang. I'm not going to name this individual on the account that it would probably embarrass him. For now I will call him John Doe.
John Doe has always been a great Christian friend of mine. He has been an accountability partner at times, an encourager when I've needed encouraging. A counselor when I've needed counseling. What a great friend John Doe is to me. So giving. So trustworthy. A true deacon in the presence of the Lord. A true ambassador for Christ himself.
My cell phone rang, and it was John Doe.
" Kevin......I felt the sudden urge to call you.....Is everything OK?"
Isn't that amazing ???????? God whispered in John Does ear to check on me!!!!!!!
After telling him about the situation that we've encountered all day, he asks, "Where are you right now?" I answered, "somewhere in Kansas". He asked, "You are spending the night somewhere aren't you?" To which my reply was, "nope, don't have any money". Of course, being in Kansas, if you're getting a signal on your cell phone, it's a blessing within it self, and we lost our connection.
Tammie and I finally figured out which way we needed to go, and we just passed a sign that said "Joplin, Missouri........9 miles". We finally left Kansas and entered Missouri, that was a milestone all by itself.
My cell phone rang again, and again, it was John Doe. First thing he asks me was, "How far are you away from Joplin, Missouri?" I answer with excitement, "9 Miles"!!!!!!!
He proceeds to tell me that there is a reservation at Super Eight Motel in Joplin for me. There is a free breakfast at the hotel in the morning. He told me to stop and get a good nights rest.


Wow !!!!!!!!! I still get chill bumps thinking about the miracles in my life all during this one weekend. God was active in my life the whole way. Watching my every move, tending to my every need. Knowing what I needed before I did. Whispering to a friend to help me. Planning my whole trip and then guiding me through it. With all of the crisis in the world today, the war in Israel, in Iraq, in Afghanistan and many other parts of the world. With all of the starving people in so many countries, including our own. With all of the hurting people crying out to Him all over the world. So many other people are so much more worthy of God's time than me. Still.....Still.... He had time to cater to my every need, in order to bring me back home safely to my home. Thank you God, for the chance to live another day and tell people about what you did for me. I shared this story with the men at the prison Tuesday night in Dermott. God chose me to deliver the message that night.

My thanks go out to John Doe, you know who you are, Thank you for being such a great Christian Soldier for God. With God's guidance that night, you played a huge part in saving mine and Tammie's life. So Thank you, and God bless you and your family.

From the Cruise control going out to the second we pulled safely in our driveway,
Jesus had the Wheel in His hands the whole way. AMEN.

Jesus, Take The Wheel

I have had miracles happen to me before, but I want to tell you about the most recent one that has happened to Tammie and me. As everyone knows, we moved our newly-wed daughter to Kansas this past weekend. Everything went as planned until around the time we were heading back home. It was around 4:30 pm, Tammie and I were both worn out from the unrelenting heat of 109 that day. In this heat we unloaded a van, a UHaul trailer, a truck and a car. Up a flight of stairs. So with a 10 hour drive ahead of us, we weren't looking forward to it. Right off the bat, I pressed the cruise control button once I got on the highway. And it didn't work. Something was wrong with it, it was broken. I was so upset, because I knew that my legs were going to be even more worn out because now I have to actually put my foot on the gas pedal. What I didn't know was that God was whispering to me, "Kevin, you don't need the cruise control today, trust me".
For those of you that have never been to Kansas. The two lane highways all have speed limits of 65 MPH. For the simple reason that the highways are super straight and you can see for miles and miles. Its nothing but flat land full of fields. Hardly any trees at all. Or at least this was the picture we had in the area of Kansas we were in.
Two hours from my daughters apartment we found ourselves on one of these highways headed eastbound. With a vehicle in front of us, and a Semi in front of that vehicle, and a Semi directly behind us, all four of us were pretty tight together in a formation traveling at about a speed of 67-70 MPH. When all of a sudden, I see the Semi slam on his brakes and then immediately following the vehicle in front of us slammed on their brakes. In order to avoid hitting the car in front of me, and the Semi behind me crashing into me, I took the ditch. Not all the way in the ditch, just on the slant going down to the ditch. Instantly another car out of nowhere, headed westbound, met me. She was traveling at a very high speed and straddling the ditch that I was in. I still believe that she missed us by inches. It took all of us it seemed a lifetime to get stopped and try to turn around. The road was very narrow and it was hard to turn around. The semi in front of me blew a tire when he slammed on his brakes. I found out later that after he changed his tire he had to travel a certain distance before he could find a place to turn around. Tammie and I thought at the moment that he had left the scene of the accident.
The car in front of me turned around first, and then we followed them. We drove up to the car where it finally decided to stop. It was destroyed, and you could hear a faint horn whining. I just knew that the occupants were dead. Tammie and I both jumped out of our van, and the lady that was driving the car in front of us was already at the crashed vehicle. She asked if we could get a signal on our cell phones, and of course, we couldn't, we were out in the middle of NOWHERE KANSAS.
So without knowing if anyone was still alive, I left Tammie there and drove to the nearest house to ask them to call 911. Once I returned, I found that both ladies in the wrecked car were alive and talking. They were both hurting though, as they should have been. I noticed that they had hit a big concrete culvert and then took out a solid fence, where they finally stopped moving just beyond the fence. The driver looked to be in her late 40's or early 50's, a heavy set lady. She was complaining of chest pains. The passenger was her daughter, probably in her late 20's or early 30's. She was complaining that she couldn't move her neck.
I stood over the wreckage and touched the car, and said a prayer out loud. Then I asked the driver if she had a church that she attends, and her reply was yes. I asked the passenger the same question, and she said ,"no, but I am going to go from now on !" I asked the driver if she knew Jesus Christ, and she said yes, as well as the passenger. To which my reply was, "Thank God, because he was looking out for all of us today".
Tammie and I stood in the 109 degree temp. that day for over 2 hours. We had to give our description of the wreck to the police report.
To sum up the first part of this story right now, all I know is that if my cruise control was working that day, I probably would have slammed into the vehicle in front of me. What was aggravating to me at first, turned out to be a blessing. This all reminds me of the song by Carrie Underwood, "Jesus, Take the Wheel". Because he had a hold of every steering wheel around us that day including ours.
incredibly, there is a second part to this story, so I will leave this as "TO BE CONTINUED"